The Undesired Read online

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  This book is for my little sister,

  Ýr Sigurdardóttir – a great doctor and

  wonderful mother of eight

  Pronunciation guide for character names

  (Nicknames in brackets)

  Ódinn – Oh-thin

  Rún – Roon

  Lára – Lowh-rra

  Heimir – Hame-irr

  Róberta – Roh-berta

  Krókur care home – Kroke-ur

  Diljá – Dilly-oh

  Thorbjörn (Tobbi) – Thor-byern (Tobbee)

  Einar – Ay-nar

  Lilja – Lili-yuh

  Veigar – Vay-guh

  Hákon – How-cun

  Baldur – Bal-duh

  Sigga – Sick-a

  Eyjalín – Aya-leen

  Nanna – Nunnah

  Keli – Keh-lli

  Logi – Loi-yee

  Kalli – Kal-ee

  Helena – Heh-lena

  Halla – Had-lah

  Kolfinnur (Pytti) – Kohl-finnur (Tehtti)

  The End

  Ódinn was jolted awake by a cough. How long had he been asleep? Perhaps he’d only nodded off for a moment. He chuckled to himself and was puzzled by how breathless he sounded, though he didn’t feel it. Sensing the drowsiness returning, he struggled against it. Where was he, again? An attempt to smile resulted in such a pathetic twitch of his lips that another laugh escaped him. Then there was silence – but no, he could hear the throbbing of an engine. The noise lulled him and his eyelids drooped again. He heard more coughing and half opened his eyes, looking round with some effort. He was still in the driver’s seat. Beside him sat his daughter Rún, head slumped forward, black hair hanging down and masking her delicate features. He started laughing as if it were the funniest thing he had ever seen. Something was wrong. Was he drunk? No, that wasn’t it: he was happy.

  Rún coughed again, her head jerking up each time. Her fine hair swung gently to and fro as if in a breeze, and Ódinn almost burst out laughing again, yet beneath his weird elation he was aware that there was nothing funny about any of this.

  They were in the car. Inside a garage. Ódinn’s chin had sunk onto his chest. Infinitely slowly he raised his head, as if it were made of glass. Whose garage was it? He ought to know but couldn’t remember. What are we doing here? Why do I feel so strange? He could sense the answers echoing at the back of his mind but they kept eluding him. It frustrated him because he knew they were desperately important.

  Ódinn breathed feebly through his nose. When he blinked, his vision cleared for a moment, but with each blink it felt as if his eyes were closing for the last time. Overwhelmed now with hilarity, he managed a wide grin. He felt amazing. By a great effort of will he took hold of his daughter’s little hand, which was quite limp. His inexplicable mirth died down and he squeezed her damp palm. Rún didn’t stir, just hung there in her seatbelt.

  A ray of rational thought pierced his haze of contentment. Something was very wrong. Why were they sitting in the car in this familiar-looking garage? He ought to know and made another effort to remember how they’d ended up here. But just as the clouds in his head seemed to be parting, the thought evaporated. Lára. Lára. Lára. His ex-wife – Rún’s mother. How did she come into this? She was long dead. He chuckled again.

  Now it was his turn to cough until his chest ached. When he recovered he realised how odd the air tasted. Sour. Poisonous. Still smiling, he groped for the button to turn up the blower to full blast but his arm slumped heavily onto the gearstick. It should have hurt but the pain was so dull he didn’t even wince. It was as if he were wearing a thickly padded ski-suit. Glancing down, he saw that he was dressed in his ordinary clothes. Not his parka, though. That was odd. Wasn’t it freezing outside? It was winter, wasn’t it? Ódinn was unsure. Not that it mattered. Something – or someone? – was telling him everything was going to be all right. Perhaps it was Lára; it sounded like her voice.

  God, it was depressing to see Rún hanging there beside him like that. It was spoiling his buzz. He looked away, infinitely slowly, his head still as fragile as glass. His chin touched his left shoulder and he drew back his lips in another grin. That was much better: now he could see that the window on the driver’s side was open. His heart missed a beat. Outside the car the air appeared grey and misty. Why did this jog his memory? Exhaust fumes. The engine’s poisonous exhalations. He knew about this, didn’t he? It was connected somehow to his work. Ódinn tried holding his breath and his head seemed to clear a little. His mirth gave way to despair as he remembered having heard or read that those who die of oxygen deprivation experience a rush of euphoria just before the end. The brain grants the unlucky victim one final mercy: to die happy.

  Who had done this to them? Who? Ódinn could hear himself giggling but there were tears sliding down his cheeks. He must be able to remember. Where had they been? He thought he could taste burger, and dimly recalled getting a takeaway. With Rún. But where were they now? The fog descended again, only penetrated by the realisation that he had wasted precious energy thinking about something that no longer mattered, when he should have been trying to get himself and his daughter out of the car. Darling Rún, only eleven years old. He summoned the strength to turn and look at her again. He wanted to scream but didn’t have the energy. His daughter was dying before his very eyes, and he couldn’t even reach out to her.

  Ódinn giggled, the tears pouring down his face. He hated this. Who wants to feel hilariously drunk at the moment of their death? Let alone their child’s. A rattle, half-cough, half-laughter, burst from his throat. This was the end; it was too late to change anything. He had failed his daughter. Other fathers might have succeeded in opening the door, dragging themselves along the floor to the passenger side and saving their child. All he need do to save their lives was open the garage door the merest crack. Or to save hers, at least. He didn’t care about himself, as long as she survived.

  Laugh one more time, his brain commanded. Ódinn obeyed, guffawing helplessly, at the limits of his endurance. Then broke off when his befuddled thoughts suddenly crystallised. He remembered where they were, though not how they had got there. Remembered why Lára mattered, although she was dead. Remembered the two boys who had died in exactly the same way, long ago. And what was more, he knew now who was responsible for their current predicament. Anger stirred feebly but grief had taken hold now, displacing even the intoxicating merriment.

  Ódinn couldn’t hold his breath any longer. This was the end. He opened his mouth and drank in the poisoned air.

  Chapter 1

  Ódinn Hafsteinsson missed the heft of a hammer in his hand, missed taking aim, raining down blows on a four-inch galvanised nail. As a student he’d never sat a minute longer over his studies than necessary, and after graduating he had quickly given up on his first position at an engineering firm because it had condemned him to spending his days hunched in front of a computer screen
. Instead, he’d found his vocation preparing quotes for his brother’s contracting company. This too should have been an indoor job but he managed to wangle it so that he got his hands dirty on as many site visits as possible. It had been a dream job. Yet now here he was, a desk jockey once more, pale, bored and lethargic after three months’ incarceration in an office. And today was one of the bad ones: a gale raging outside, all the windows closed and a heaviness in his head that only intensified when he was summoned to see his boss.

  As always, Heimir Tryggvason’s lazy eye was pointing off to one side, and Ódinn experienced the usual urge to follow it to see what it was looking at. ‘Come to me if there’s any problem,’ said Heimir. ‘I’m not too clued up on the background but I might be able to help.’

  Ódinn just nodded, having already thanked him twice for the same offer.

  ‘The priority is to try and get a sense of the scale – find out whether we’re dealing with a ticking time-bomb here. I hope not, of course, but if we are we could at least get in ahead of the media – and the inevitable outpouring of public sympathy. It would make a nice change.’ Heimir’s lips stretched in a humourless smile, his lazy eye swivelling so far to the side that only half the pupil was visible.

  ‘Is that everything, then? I think I’m fairly clear about what’s expected of me – I’m to pick up where Róberta left off and complete the report.’

  Heimir’s smile vanished. ‘To be honest, I’m not sure how much use her work will be to us. She was in a worse state than anyone realised.’

  Ódinn opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it. No one could have failed to notice that Róberta had been in very poor health. She had sighed at every step, and was constantly clutching at her left arm and shoulder, her face twisted with pain. Though no one said as much, few were surprised when it was announced that she had died of a heart attack. Neither had they been particularly startled to hear that it had happened at the office, after hours; she was often the last to leave. Even so, it was horrible to think that their colleague had spent a whole night dead in their workplace. And depressing that no one had missed her when she failed to make it home. It had been a nasty shock for the first employees to arrive that morning, and Ódinn was profoundly grateful not to have been among them. Róberta had been found sprawled in her chair, arms trailing at her sides, head craned back, mouth gaping and features contorted with suffering.

  Why Heimir had seen fit to assign her one of the office’s very few genuinely demanding projects was anybody’s guess. He was certainly no judge of character. Perhaps he’d used the same criterion he was now applying in transferring the case to Ódinn: as an engineer, Ódinn could be trusted to take a rational approach and remain emotionally detached when dealing with sensitive issues.

  ‘I’ll start by checking how far she got. She may have achieved more than we think.’

  ‘Well, don’t get your hopes up.’ Heimir shot him a look intended to convey sympathy.

  Ódinn rose to his feet, feeling a tingle of anticipation. At last he had been entrusted with a job he could really get his teeth into, and would no longer have to struggle to fill his days. This was a serious case, a report on the Krókur care home, which had operated as a residential home for delinquent boys in the 1970s. He was to find out whether the boys had suffered any lasting ill effects as a result of mistreatment or abuse and, if so, whether they had a right to demand damages. The home was unusually shrouded in silence; no former residents had come forward to ask for compensation or pour their hearts out in the media – with any luck because there was nothing to tell.

  ‘You’ll find Róberta’s files in her cubicle.’

  Even a lowly entity like the State Supervisory Agency had its unofficial pecking order. All employees were allocated the same bland office furniture, but some got to sit by a window, while others faced a white, Artexed wall. Ódinn belonged to the latter group, yet considered himself a rung above Róberta, who had been stuck in a corner as far from the action as you could get. The only visitors she had were those who had specific business with her. But at least she’d had peace and quiet to work in, and, whereas others had been ordered to remove all personal touches, no one had made a fuss about the pictures that adorned her cubicle. Possibly no one had even noticed them. Now, faced with her wall, Ódinn could make no sense of the collage; it was like an intricate picture puzzle with no discernible connection between any two images.

  ‘Kind of crazy, don’t you think?’ Diljá Davídsdóttir, who occupied the neighbouring cubicle, was peering over the partition, glad of the distraction.

  ‘I don’t know. Better than a blank wall.’ Ódinn bent to examine one of the pictures, which, unlike the rest, was an original photograph rather than a printout. Judging by the clothes and faded colours, it was fairly old. A few more years and all that would remain would be a shiny white rectangle. ‘Are these relatives of hers?’ The photo was of two teenage boys in a grassy hollow, wearing jeans with turn-ups and rather grubby, threadbare jumpers. At first there seemed something vaguely familiar about the older boy, but, on second glance, this impression faded. He probably just had one of those standard-issue Icelandic faces. Also, Ódinn now realised, the boys looked so different that they could hardly be from the same family.

  ‘Search me. She wouldn’t answer my questions and I wasn’t about to beg. I just left her to her cutting and pasting.’

  Ódinn straightened up. It was pointless trying to work out the rationale behind the collage when the only person who knew it was lying in her coffin in Grafarvogur Cemetery. He decided to start with the paperwork. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that Diljá was still watching. ‘Did she have some sort of filing system?’

  ‘God, yes. She was about the most organised person I know. Though whether it’ll make sense is anyone’s guess.’ She regarded Ódinn with wide blue eyes. ‘I bet it’s insanely complicated.’

  ‘I hope not.’

  ‘Why are you interested, anyway? Have you got to go through all her stuff?’ She grinned broadly. ‘Yay! I was sure I’d be lumbered with that.’

  ‘Don’t celebrate too soon.’ Ódinn opened a file and flicked through it. ‘I’m only supposed to focus on material relating to the Krókur care home. Presumably someone else’ll have to deal with the rest. You, maybe?’

  That wiped the smile off Diljá’s face. Her red lips thinned into a straight line and her jaw clenched. ‘I wouldn’t touch that job, and if I were you I’d find a way to get out of it.’

  The file he was holding did appear to relate to Krókur, so he put it on the desk and grabbed the next one. ‘Well, I’m not exactly drowning in exciting projects.’ Over the years the office had found itself increasingly sidelined. Others had proved perfectly capable of solving the cases that had once fallen within its domain, and all that remained were crumbs from the tables of more powerful government offices, or assignments that Heimir managed to cadge at his monthly meetings with the representatives of other agencies and ministries.

  ‘Still, you wouldn’t catch me investigating a load of juvenile delinquents,’ she replied. ‘Even if they were abused. It’s all water under the bridge, and it’s not like they were innocent victims like the kids at the other homes.’

  ‘Calling them juvenile delinquents is a bit harsh.’ Ódinn replaced the second file, which turned out to have no connection to Krókur, and took out a third. ‘From what I can gather their offences were pretty minor. After all, they were only in their early teens.’

  Diljá snorted. ‘Like that means anything. Children are perfectly capable of committing crimes. The other day I saw a discussion on Kidsnet about a boy up north who’s supposed to have murdered two children. He wasn’t even a teenager. For all you know, there may have been one of those at Krókur. I’d pass.’

  ‘There weren’t any murderers there. It would have been mentioned.’

  Diljá’s eyes strayed to Róberta’s desk. ‘She used to talk to herself all the time. Róberta, I mean.’ She hesit
ated, then continued: ‘Sometimes it was just muttering to herself. But now and then I couldn’t help hearing every word. And, I’m telling you, it was really weird shit.’

  ‘So?’ Ódinn said absently, his attention on the files. Diljá’s dark hints held no interest for him. They hardly knew each other but he’d never been impressed by the endless stream of gossip she produced over the coffee machine, about people he’d never heard of or politicians who pissed her off. Not for the first time he thanked his lucky stars that he hadn’t gone home with her from a work party two months ago. The offer had definitely been there, and at the time spending the night with her had seemed like an excellent idea. But he’d had to pay a visit to the gents and by the time he got back she’d turned her attention to the office’s only other single man. For the next few days the atmosphere between Diljá and this man had been so tense that it was a relief to everyone when one of them was absent. If Ódinn ever found himself a girlfriend, it wouldn’t be at work. Not that it was likely to happen anywhere else either. A single parent with an eleven-year-old daughter, not particularly handsome and far from loaded – a man like that was hardly going to be the hottest bachelor in town. But he couldn’t complain. Casually mentioning his daughter was often all it took to persuade a one-night stand to leave before breakfast.

  ‘You know what I think? I think that case was the death of her. There’s something creepy about it and I’d think twice before taking it on.’

  ‘I’ve already taken it on.’ Ódinn had no interest in prolonging the conversation by pointing out that Róberta’s illness had long predated her investigation into the fates of the boys at Krókur, though whether a demanding case had proved the final straw was another matter.

  Personally, he was confident that it wouldn’t get to him; he had no intention of becoming emotionally involved with other people’s suffering as he had enough of his own. Unlike the wretched boys at Krókur, however, he had been responsible for his own fate. At twenty-four he’d met Lára, the future mother of his child, who had been two years older. They had moved in together, got married, and a year later had a daughter. Her arrival had finally brought home to him what should have been obvious long before: that he and Lára were hopelessly unsuited. When he walked out on Lára and their newly christened daughter, his wife hadn’t seemed unduly upset. They’d both adapted to the change and life had carried on as normal, though doubtless it had been much tougher for Lára than for him.